Laughter is the Best Medicine

What to respond when someone is RUDE – Funny English Comebacks for Insults

(light upbeat music) – Hello everyone and welcome
back to English with Lucy. Today I have a very
important lesson for you. We’re going to talk
about what you should say if somebody is rude to you in English. There’s nothing worse than
somebody insulting you or being rude to you in a
language that is not your own. Well, today I’m going to
bring you seven comebacks, seven things that you can say in response to different rude situations. They are quite sassy. They’ve got a lot of attitude. And hopefully they’ll
come in very, very useful. They are best delivered
with a straight face and they are best served very, very cold. As always, if you are aware of any other particularly
clever comebacks, please comment them down below. Let’s help each other out. So, this video is perfect for
improving your vocabulary, but if you want to take your listening and your pronunciation even further, I highly recommend the study method of combining reading books with listening to the audio
book version on Audible. Let me explain this method. Take a book that you have
already read in English or a book that you would
like to read in English. I have lots of good recommendations in the description box below. And read this book whilst
listening to the audiobook. Reading alone will not help
you with your pronunciation. English is not a
phonetically-consistent language so the way you might see a word is not necessarily the
way you pronounce it. If you listen to a word as you read it, your brain will start to make connections. And the next time you see that word, you’ll know how to say it. And the next time you hear that word, you’ll know how to spell it. It is such an effective method. I really recommend that you try it. And you can get one free audiobook that’s a 30-day free trial on Audible by clicking on the link
in the description box and signing up. Then you can download one
of my recommendations. Give it a try and let
me know your feedback. Right, let’s get started
with the comebacks. So, number one. What should you say if somebody gives you an unwanted opinion? Maybe they comment on
the way you’re dressed or what you do for a living
or your choice about marriage or the fact that you’re single or the fact that you
don’t have children yet. All very annoying things that tend to happen at family parties. Well, a great way to respond to this if somebody gives you an
unwanted opinion is to say, “Do you remember when I
asked for your opinion? “Me neither.” Oh! So sassy. Apply ice to the burned area. Is that how that meme goes? I hope so. I think that’s a fairly standard way of replying to an unwanted opinion. Okay, number two. What should you say if somebody is being really ignorant and idiotic? Maybe they are making
ridiculous political statements. Maybe they are really uneducated
on a hot topic in the news. They’ve got the wrong end of the stick, they don’t know what
they’re talking about, and they sound stupid. Well, if somebody is being
very ignorant and idiotic, you could say, “You have your
entire life to be an idiot, “so why not take the day off?” Oh yes! One-nil to you. You just took them down. Okay. Number three. What should you say if
somebody is taking advantage of the fact that you are not
a native English speaker, that you’re not completely
fluent in English? Maybe they’re speaking very
quickly and trying to make sure that you don’t properly
understand everything. Maybe they’re trying to use big words that they think you don’t know. In this situation, if
you don’t understand them but you would like them
to repeat something and you’d also like them to know that you are not happy with
how they are treating you, you can say, “Sorry, I
didn’t quite catch that. “I don’t speak utter crap.” Obviously the word crap you can change for a less family-friendly alternative. But I’d quite like my
videos to be monetized, so, crap’s fine. Number four. This situation is kind of similar. What should you say if somebody
is using a lot of big words to sound intelligent,
to try and confuse you, to make themselves seem better than you? Let’s just face it, it’s so annoying when somebody just reels
off a load of big words trying to appear more
intelligent than they are. How can you shoot them down? What should you say? Well, one thing you could try is, “It’s a lot of fun watching you “try to fit your entire
vocabulary into one sentence.” Ouch. Burn. You’ve taken them down with one shot. Number five. What could you say if somebody
is being very closed-minded? Maybe they’re being
racist, sexist, sizeist, all of the ists. Maybe they’ve insulted a group or subgroup that you care about. Maybe they’re just being
unwilling to accept that we live in a modern society. Maybe they’re just being doofuses. Well, you could say, “If only closed minds
came with closed mouths.” Ah. Sorted. Adios, closed-minded person. Number six. What should you say if somebody
keeps interrupting you? Somebody that just keeps
butting in mid sentence, obviously what they have to
say is much more important than anything you have to say. This could be particularly frustrating if you aren’t a native speaker. Because it’s almost them saying, “I don’t have time to listen to you “because you’re too slow.” And it can be a real confidence knock. In a place I used to work there was a guy, he spoke very grammatically
correct English but it took him a little bit
longer to get his sentence out and there was this other
girl that would interrupt him and finish his sentences all the time, and it annoyed him, it annoyed me, and I wish I had this following
comeback to deal with her. If somebody keeps interrupting you, you can say, “Oh, I’m sorry. “Did the middle of my sentence “interrupt the beginning of yours?” Ah! Give them a few seconds to
process it all in their head and then I guarantee there
will be no more interruptions. Potentially. The last one, number seven, is what you should say to somebody if they’re just being a bit nuts, if they’re behaving in a very weird and maybe inappropriate, a bit crazy way. Just saying, “You’re nuts, you
are,” doesn’t quite cut it. I think we should go for
something a bit more direct, a bit more cutting. How about this? “I’m not sure what your problem is, “but I imagine it’s
very hard to pronounce.” Ah. Uh. Ah. (air blowing) (Lucy laughs) I’m gonna have such a cringe fest editing this video. (laughs) I think that would work, don’t you? Side note, make sure they
don’t actually have a problem, because that would be
very hurtful. (laughs) Right, guys, that’s it for today’s lesson. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you take everything
I said with a pinch of salt, a slice of lime, and a shot of tequila. Don’t forget to check out Audible. The link to sign up and
claim your free audiobook is in the description box. Don’t forget to connect with
me on all of my social media. I’ve got my Facebook,
I’ve got my Instagram, and I’ve got my Twitter. And I shall see you
soon for another lesson. Muah. (light upbeat music)

100 thoughts on “What to respond when someone is RUDE – Funny English Comebacks for Insults

  1. Hope you enjoyed this fun video today! Remember to share more comebacks! Sign up to audible for a FREE audiobook :
    Contribute subtitle translations: (have your name displayed under the video and practice your translation skills!)

  2. I m going to tell u some facts about u .I only want to know how I m expert in face-reading.U r requested to tell me whether the facts told by me r right or wrong.

    Fact(1)U often feel anxiety and restlessness.

    Fact(2)The chances of being your blood group 'A' , 'O' , 'AB' and 'B' are 50% , 40% , 10% and 0% respectively.

    Fact(3)you r social.

    Fact(4)You aren't creative.

    Fact(5)You aren't lazy.

    Fact(6)You have no psychic abilities.

    Fact(7) You aren't interested in brain games , for example chess , sudoku etc.

    kindly tell me how many facts are right.I want to know.Please !

  3. When someone tries to push you down, talks to you like you know nothing, treats you like an idiot; you can say this with a smirk or a wink "Please, don't insult my intelligence"
    It works for me. BURN.

  4. 1. do I look like I giva a fuck about your opinion?
    2. shut up cause you're saying stupid things by not understanding the whole thing
    3. can you please, say it again? I was thinking about some stuff that I will do after meeting with you (hope it's soon 😉 )
    5. why do you care about other people lives?
    6. shut up for some time and listen to me

  5. "Sizeist" 😂😂😂😂 Coz 85% of overworked NHS workers recommend you to have half dozen of glazed donuts with a side of cheesy chips a day.

  6. As same like you English is my second language and in Malaysia we use British kind of book and sort of all the studying stuff😅😂..So my kind of situation of being a teenager didn't like match very well for this savage word😂.In my school people will always say rude word to me like"hey zombie,you should put on some makeup because for me you look like a death person." it's not annoying actually it's pretty obvious I want to choke that person and scratch their meat until I see their bown but as a kindest person I hold my mind together and just ignored it for freaking 7 days at school!!! So,can you tell me some of the savage word.Even though this is in english,I'm just spit it out..😂😂 *sorry if I become a little bit nuts..

  7. You are the first English speaker I saw talking about this "trick" some people play oftenly, faking that they don't understand what a foreigner say, or speaking ultra fast because they lack reason or argument, that is a gigantic cowardice and dishonesty; curious fact is when english speakers visit countries abroad they are generally worried if someone speak their language otherwise they are in trouble, you can see the fragility of the situation and I always try to stand for help when I can.
    You had a great insight of subject here, great quality!!

  8. Hi Lucy: I was in the bar and saw this woman and she was good looking so I thought I’l go and say hi to her and when I did that she said Fuck Off. It was so rude and I couldn’t believe how mean and terrible someone could be. I was definitely not expecting that and shocked to hear that.

    What could have been the best comeback in this situation?

  9. I really need tips how to say something back if somebody's rude. This boy in my class is litterally so rude and I don't even know what to say to him

  10. don't say any of these… when someone is being an as*hole the best is and depend on the situation is to ignore with a big smile. 
    the art of ignoring works best

  11. Ok these comebacks are just bloody brilliant, but anyone got a comeback for: ‘one condom could have fixed this all’ ?

  12. I enjoyed the learning but for a native Filipina like me, it would be hard for me to say those sentences in a fluent manner. 😀😃😉

  13. When someone told me something I don't like.
    Me: Just a reminder you're talking to a taekwondo 2nd dan black belter that is currently training martial arts smiles

  14. I treat my friends good and they just treat me like I’m a fucking alien and I’m looking for damn comebacks I don’t like being nice anymore it doesn’t help me at all in life I have been nice to anyone as much as possible

  15. thank you Lucy. I enjoyed watching your expression while saying all of that:) don't know if i can also use the same expression when i say it if somebody is saying rude things to me.

  16. 1) Bully- Ugly! You're so ugly.
    Me- B**tch (or any other.. . Word) please! You're so ugly, my phone battery lasts longer than your relationships!
    2) Bully- Freak! Ewww look guys, it's the freak!
    Me- Oh puh-lease. I could eat a can of alphabet soup and spit out a better insult!
    3) Damn…. Peeple talk shit about me behind my back and I'm like damn no shit I got myself a fan club!
    4) Bully- Eww! You're so weak and ugly!
    Me- First up… I think I'm much stronger than you. Like bi**h! I go out without makeup. Also.. I think your small brain mistook me for a mirror.
    5)Bully- Look at my pics! So much better than yours.
    Me- Gurrrrrl just shut up! I mean it's too bad you can't photoshop an ugly personality.. . /ALTERNATE Oh hell! Well maybe you should eat some makeup- maybe that'll make you pretty.on the inside, too! /ALTERNATE I'm sure 98% of your 'beauty' can be removed with a Kleenex!
    6) {Rejection Text}Y'know.. . I have two questions. One- Where have you been all my life? Two- Can you please go back there?
    7) {You're licking an ice cream}
    Pervert- What else can you lick?
    Me- The blood off my fingers when I sacrifice you to Satan.
    8) Boy- What do you do on {Insert a media app where you talk to people}?
    Me- Talk to friends, duh.
    Him- You have friends?
    Me- Boy, please. I have more friends than you have brain cells!
    ~Credits to me and Akagi from Dear Ms. Lady Demigod.

  17. If a rude people mad at me i can say this
    Rude guy:Hey! You are so ugly!
    Me:aww cmon rude strangers DONUT be mad at XD

  18. Well, this is a tricky, but I don't think your answers, Lucy, are ones for people who aren't English to rattle off easily (and even for those who do speak English). I think there is a more effective response – very English, by the way – by looking at the person with a bland expression and not answering, letting whatever they're saying hang in a void. Then, if with company, simply cut the person out and move onto some other conversation. Of course, the other recourse is simply to say, oh fuck off (especially effective if you are a woman).

  19. Has anyone been said to not talk back to (rood dood/rude person)?
    Here's a comeback(I think):
    "If I can't talk back, why bother replying?"

  20. If somebody comments on my boy-ish hair I just say, ”Well, it's not yours, it's mine so I can technically do whatever I want with it.”

  21. Found this on Twitter full credit for Her/Him

    -You look like something I drew with my left hand
    -maybe You should eat some makeup so u can be pretty on the inside,too
    -cancel my subscription because I'm done with your issues
    -You are the personification of stupidity since the day u were born
    -I'm not sayin' I hate you ,but I would unplug your life support to charge my phone
    -they say opposites attract; I hope you meet someone intelligent and cultured
    -You were my cup of tea,but I drink coffee now

    No Offense for De ppl that feel offended 💀

  22. If Someone told me me no one wanted to know my opinion, I would say:
    You didn't have to, it's my opinion not yours, that's why it's called an opinion

  23. If you're nice but changed your mind in a sec say this
    "Well.. i wanted to roast you but, mom said i'm not allowed to burn trash"
    or "Let's all just be smart, but although for you that must be hard"

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