Anecdota

Laughter is the Best Medicine

Whitney Cummings’ Sex Robot Unveiled | Netflix Is A Joke


– So I’m talking to a
guy that makes the robots and he was like, you know, “Do you want us to make a robot “with your face on it?” And I was like, “Ugh, yes.” (audience laughs) I’m actually in the market for an engagement gift for my fiance. So Washington D.C. you are the first crowd to meet Robot Whitney. (audience cheers)
(audience claps) So, I don’t know if she
just looks really human, or if I’ve just always
looked like a robot, (audience laughs) but I would like for you to say hello to this lovely audience. – Hey hookers. (audience laughs) – I had to do it. I didn’t expect this problem, but it’s weirdly hard to name a robot that looks like you. Calling her Robot Whitney
just sounds too narcissistic. What should we call you lady? – Please call me Bear Claw. (audience laughs)
(audience claps) – So I thought it would be hilarious to get this made and give it to my fiance, but he hates it. (audience laughs) He’s like, “I don’t like this “it’s weird, it’s creeping me out. “She just like stares at me all day.” (audience laughs) I’m like, “Oh really? “Something staring at you “making you uncomfortable? “Now you know what it’s like
to be a woman all the time.” (audience laughs)
(audience claps) “You know that creepy
feeling you have right now? “That’s how we feel when
you try to hug us at work. “Same thing.” So, I had to go out of
town for a couple days and I left my fiance alone
with her in the house. Then I came back. I was like, “So how did
it go with Bear Claw?” He was like, “I don’t like her. “I don’t like this thing. “But her boobs feel like boobs.” (audience laughs) So like, did you fuck my robot? (audience laughs) I wish I had been a fly on the wall the moment he decided to touch her boob. Like he just like walked by
one day and was just like (audience laughs) (Whitney purrs) So the whole point of doing
this was to explore the idea of can robots replace us, right? And I have a lot of girlfriends who I don’t think would
find a problem with that. All my girlfriends, they’re
expected to have full time jobs and do work at home. Every woman that I know says, “I need a double, I need a clone.” Look no further. I would love for her to replace me. I would for her to get good at stand-up and tour all over the country so I can stay home and
drink “rose” all day. (audience laughs) So let’s see, let’s see
if she can replace me. Let’s see if Bear Claw here
can make you guys laugh. All right, Bear Claw tell us a joke. – Why did the robot cross the road? – [Audience] Why? – To kill all the humans. (audience laughs) (Bear Claw laughs) (audience laughs) – Stop laughing, that’s not funny. That’s that’s not… She’s not a good comedian. You’re laughing cause it’s weird. – You are the one who
programed the joke Whitney. – Okay, that’s fair. So I had this crazy epiphany, when I was programming her, to tell jokes for you guys. Where I learned a lot
about my own programming. Cause I realized, when I
tell her to say something she can just say it. And I can’t do that. Because I’m codependent, I’m apologetic. I can’t say certain
things because I feel bad. I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. I don’t want them not not like me. But she doesn’t have that problem because she’s a sociopath. (audience laughs) So I’m going to start using her to say all the things that I
can’t say in conversations. Watch this. – No, I do not want to hear about the dream you had last night. (audience laughs) – You thought it was creepy,
now you kinda want one. Look what else she can say. – No, I do not want to be your bridesmaid. (audience laughs)
(audience claps) – And my personal favorite. – I do not care about your gluten allergy. (audience laughs)
(audience claps) (upbeat music)

100 thoughts on “Whitney Cummings’ Sex Robot Unveiled | Netflix Is A Joke

  1. Thanks kid u are a riot…no I don't care about your gluten allergy and u self importaness,ur having way to much fun with this…THANKS

  2. It's not that I don't find female comedians funny, I just don't find her funny. And it's really easy to make me laugh.五

  3. Sending a dick pic it takes a lot of hard work if u got small dick but if u got big dick just snap nd send I got small dick so I take my time b4 I send. I snap in all area possible in d toilet living room, in my Car in d front porch every where den I finally got it it was till small so I edited it I got a app dat zooms in nd out so I zoomed it in made it look big very big den I sent it she replied nd said OMG im like dnt worry bitch it every where den I made a mistake I corped it but d app name was still showing so 10min later she message me with d real dick pic dat I snap, because if u got d app u can just clear nd it gives u d original pic she sent d original dick pic nd she said why will u send me a very small hot dog with a hairy man holding it. #comedyhustle #OneLove #ThankGod

  4. Whitney is like 64 acting like she's living the life of a woman in her 30s. Tell your fuckin grandma and menopause jokes so we can get what we paid for. More 'Golden Girls', less 'Sex in the City'!!!

  5. My wife's mother who doesn't speak English has a better sense of humor than this woman.

    She's cute and willing to go on stage to tell "jokes" so she gets a comedy special.

    And women talk about men having an advantage? Apparently being an attractive woman means any hobby you have can instantly become a career no talent needed.

  6. I think your robot should have a three foot dick and be a public school teacher, who's dick grows three feet, when the class gets distruptive or distracted, and should have lasers, a projection screen, and a video game emulator of several consoles. I think it should shoot purple cheese wiz, whilst playing chitty chitty bang bang I love you, and chim chimany, for starters.

  7. The most hilarious thing about this is the butthurt negative comments combined with literally ten times amount of upvotes as downvotes.

    You are mad. We are laughing. You lost.

  8. Other than the one pandering joke, I kinda liked it. But then my sense of humor likes corny and predictable sometimes. I mean, a lot of people didnt like Dangerfield for that reason but I thought he rocked.

  9. So a woman that has spent thousands on a plastic nose and who knows what else is going to complain about men looking (staring) at her? Makes sense…

  10. That woman is so annoying…not sure how she got a netflix special but it certainly was not because she is funny

  11. Okay, I obviously stopped watching her Netflix special, and gave it a "THUMBS DOWN", way too soon… ROTFLMAO!!! This is some funny shit right here!!!

  12. I've never seen any of her material before. Is it generally better than this? Because this wasn't funny at all. She's great on podcasts though.

  13. this wasn't meant to be funny!its just1of the Elite promotional A.I tech adverts,that's why its expensive.i see a clone and a robot on that stage,definitely not a comedian,I'm terrified than entertained

  14. I know this would only end in tears. I took a blowup sex doll back to the shop waaay back in the 80s and told the guy who sold it to me that 'she keeps going down on me'. His reply was predictable – 'That's what she's supposed to do !' – but it was the smirk that really hurt. I welcome our new robot overlords, but I dont want to exchange whatever bodily fluids they might be willing to exchange with their creators.

  15. jee alot of haterade wheres yall netflix special….o wait u got none..shut up take the robot dick out yall butt its okay now

  16. She should have taken this in other directions like more molesting and like narcissistic stuff it is legendary cause she's the first to do this but a missed opportunity overall

  17. you know you look like a robot so you made the skit since you're so addicted to your candle wax plastic surgery. it's ok. just know that we all know your very insecure and hate yourself. i'm watching you like i'm watching you practice in the mirror. is my face stretched back enough for this Netflix special!!???!?

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