Anecdota

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Why Is Labor Day a Thing? – A Cowboy Explains


Hey there. Summer’s ending
and well before there was HBO telling us
that winter is coming, Labor Day’s been reminding us
all along that fall is also afoot,
so sit back, grab a cold one and get in a position
to digest all that grilled meat you’ve been shoving down
your gullet because I’m about to tell you
the story of Labor Day. You probably don’t know
that Labor Day is supposed to be
a celebration of labor unions and it currently ranks as our
fourth favorite celebration of unions behind spaghetti
and meatballs, ladies and tramps and any relationship
Jennifer Aniston’s in. Some say it’s not
even a real holiday, it’s just a day off created
by the picnic table industry to remind us that they are
the reason salads can still be made of jello. My mom considers Labor Day
to be the 29 hours she spent given birth to the biggest head
that doctor had ever seen. Labor
Day is not unique to America. Some countries call it
an May Day, which to me just
seems noncommittal. Canada has Labor Day,
but they spell it with a U. Any good American knows
that there is no I in team and there should be
no U in labor. Some think PC culture
has gotten so out of control that you’re not even allowed
to be white after Labor Day. That’s misinformation.
It’s okay to be white. You’re just not allowed to do it
while looking like a douche bag. To be honest, I’m not sure
anyone really knows why you can’t wear white
after Labor Day. Some historians think
it might’ve been rules made by old money people
to differentiate themselves from new money people, which brings us back
to the whole douche bag thing. You may not know, but it wasn’t
always a three-day weekend. When Labor Day started,
there were no weekends. The work week was 12 hours
a day, seven days a week, and the only way your week
ended involved at casket and a religious ceremony. How did this celebration
of labor unions turn into what is
basically an excuse to pair a bottle of Rosie
with a T-bone steak? Probably the same way the
celebration of the wedding union turned into television’s
The Bachelorette. The first Labor Day in 1882
was actually a work strike and that they all felt so good that they thought we’ve got
to do this more often. Kids, this Labor Day
we’ll have to go to bed earlier since school has started up, but on that first Labor Day,
kids had to go to bed early because work started up
at the mines or as they called it
in the 1800s, second grade. I’m sure it would make
the workers back then proud as they fought
the Pullman rail company to pay them livable wages. That one day
there would be the added bonus of terrific deals
on patio furniture. We’ve come a long way
from the time when people fought for Labor Day because they barely
had room to cook, sleep or use the restroom.
Now our houses are huge. Our grills and mattresses
are priced to sell, and our potties
are poured out. Maybe nobody remembers
the squalor that sparked
the Pullman strike, but we will remember
that Bill Pullman was in the movie
Independence Day. To be fair,
most of you all think Labor Day is just a sequel
to that holiday anyway. Fact is, lots of things
have changed for the better since Labor Day was made
a national holiday by Grover Cleveland, who I was surprised learn
is a U.S. President, not a regional
Sesame Street character. A couple of things
will never change. The first, a lot of you
all will never be able to tell the difference between
Labor Day and Memorial Day. The second thing that will
never change, Bill Pullman. That man’s a national treasure. Happy Labor Day, America,
but especially, Bill Pullman.

36 thoughts on “Why Is Labor Day a Thing? – A Cowboy Explains

  1. Everyone here hope you have a great life sending wishes from a hospital bed.
    Will cya soon when Doc allows me 😊 btw proud that I saved a puppy's life.

  2. Sounds like communist propaganda.
    Oh, wait, it actually is.
    Haymarket affair, never forget, the glorious workers of Chicago that risked their lives to make exploitation non-lethal.

  3. Well that explains it. I don't what it is and why is it a thing until now. At least most of us have a day-off especially for kids. Kids get to stay home all day all bc of no school. What a relaxing holiday.

  4. And even after this simple explanation, some working class people still believe Unions are the enemy of the working class.
    They are someone's enemy yes, the employers enemy, if your company had any say in this, you'd be back to working 7 days a week, 12 hours a day, for a wage that cannot keep you and your family fed.
    But yeah, some politicians hate on Unions, declared them evil, so that must be true right? … or maybe they have a hidden agenda for their own multi million companies? aah well..

  5. What LABOR DAY Holiday!!!!!!!!!!, going to school and working so being Labor'd to DEATH on Labor Day or should I spell it LaboUr Day, LMFAO

  6. I've always been told that you don't wear white after Labor Day because it's the beginning of the fall rainy season and white clothing is hard to keep clean while out in foul weather. I'm going to use your explanation from now on- I like it better.

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