(Theme Music) (Party Music) Global?? Yeah, this commercials going
to be in every market. I mean, that’s why I’m kind
of a big deal right now. This face is gonna be all over the world. – Can be a part of it?
– My face? – Your world.
– Oh, alright! Dave: I’m telling you, I know he won the Heisman, you asked my opinion, I just think hanging with him’s hurting your image. I used to write a lot of poetry… – He isn’t.
– Yeah, he’s… no?
– Hey, did you sign your Winners Waiver? No, not yet I think I’m supposed to do that
in the morning right after I take the House Rules Final Exam.
– Oh, we could quiz you! I mean, if you… want. Thank you! That would be amazing!
– Okay, uh, house rule number one? Zero negativity.
– Ehhh! Wrong! Get it? See I was was being negative? Liz you’re not helping.
– Stop being negative, man. Stop it! Okay, yes, that was
totally right Sophia. House Rule number two?
– Zero, unauthorized use–
– Use of stuff! That’s what I was gonna say, she used my stuff! Get it? I do comedy, so I can’t help it. Hey cool music! Can you play ‘The Fox’? What’s a ‘thingamabob’? … Oh! What’s up people? What’ve we got here? It’s my, uh, special concoction.
(SPITS!) – The hell is that?!
– Nathan’s Screwdialyte. – Screw delight?
– Screwdialyte. It’s a screwdriver mixed with Pedialyte. So good. I’ve never been hung over my life.
Alright, rule number three?
– Zero inter-winner hanky-panky. – So what does that mean exactly?
– Basically, Dave does not allow any romantic involvement between people live in the
house, it’ll disrupt the harmonious spirit of the house.
– So what’s happening in the cesspool over there is OK because she doesn’t live here.
– Yeah, she’s subter-winnerean. Get it? Like a winner under water? Mermaid?
Subter… … it’s comedy thing… advanced comedy. Subter-winners, I mixed it all up…
– It’s eviction. Dave has zero tolerance for winners dating
each other, otherwise, I would’ve already asked you out to my favorite food truck. Food truck? How sweet!
– It’s absolutely the way to date. It’s tasty, gourmet, but always moving. So
every date is an adventure.
– I would never take a girl on a date where you eat off a truck. You would never take a girl on a date anywhere. Rule four. – Always be honest!
– I wanna chop you in the neck. Same rule. A nice restaurant can be an adventure too, right? Yeahhh, but a restaurant is a commitment. What’s wrong with a commitment?
– Awwww! You’d better reconsider or I will unleash my ninja army and we will
shred everything you hold dear. I’ll eat out of the back of whatever. – Who was that?
– No one. Was returning a voicemail.
They pulled his booking. – Shyamalan.
– The client thinks he looks too American. What hell does that even mean, anyway? What is this, the Stone Age?
– No, America wasn’t around back then. – Right.
– You gonna tell him? – Tomorrow.
– “It is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.”
– Plato? That’s right, Dave. I’m impressed. Uh… little help? Anyone? No? Ok… (splashing)